


Shake It Out

by CayCharming



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Rape, Rape Recovery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CayCharming/pseuds/CayCharming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki uses his powers to force Steve to have sex with him to get back at Thor for supposedly cheating on him with Sif. Tony is very pissed off and poor Steve is trying to cope with being used. (Written for a prompt on Tumbr.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shake It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a prompt from 'shawarmababy' on tumblr. 
> 
> This was the prompt: "I challenge you to a prompt where Steve takes a hit from the glow stick of destiny and is mind-controlled for a period of time. I come from the Stony tag, so I of course I request Stony goodness and lots of drama and probably some fluff and/or smut. Much love for this filled prompt, and maybe some digital cookies." 
> 
> Me and my amazing friend Nicole loved writing this and I want to Thank you shawarmababy for sending me this amazing prompt! :) I hope you don't mind the Loki/Steve smut. I picked the title from an amazing Florence + Machine song. This fic really has everything, smut, dark themes, and fluff. I hope everyone enjoys!

Steve had been minding his own business, this was a normal Monday. A day when nothing was supposed to happen. A normal, boring, Monday where things are supposed to suck, but they're not supposed to be  _this_ bad. At first, it was already bad because Tony had to make one of his rare business meetings in California and wouldn't be back until tonight.

That left Steve all alone in Stark Tower which he hated. He hated being alone, that's why he moved into Stark Tower in the first place. Because Tony had offered and that made it where he didn't have to be alone anymore. He liked living with Tony; the man wasn't as bad as he thought he would be. He was quite nice once you got him alone. He wasn't here now though, and Steve was lonely.

Steve was bored out of his mind, to occupy his time; he sat on the couch, sketching on a sketch pad in the living room. Normal right? Yeah, everything was normal until Loki appeared out of nowhere. He just appeared in thin air. Steve jumped to try to defend himself but before he even could, that too familiar scepter weapon was pressed to his chest and his eyes hazed over to a scary shade of back and to another scary color of blue.

Everything went blank. His mind was no longer his own. He had no thoughts. He wasn't allowed to think anymore. Not until Loki told him what he was allowed to think or feel.

 

**oOo**

"Ah, the Captain." Loki whispered, his hands caressing his victim's porcelain face. He let his slender fingers wrap around Steve's chin and raised it to the be of sunlight that glowed through the windows. The man looked completely flawless. The very reason that Loki had chosen him in the first place.

"Oh, the  _fun_  that I shall have with you." He purred. His features darkened with seductive mischief as he continued to stroke Steve's perfect face.

The more that Loki stared at Steve, the more attracted he became towards him. His hands traveled from Steve's face to the unworthy fabric concealing his torso. Unbuttoning the buttons quickly escalated into ripping the shirt from the other man's body. The remaining shreds floated to the ground and left Loki smirking at the sight before him.

"Kiss me." He commanded.

Steve, the real Steve wasn't even here anymore. It was like his true mind had been sent away where he could just be forced to watch what was going on. Therefore, somewhere, deep inside Steve's mind. He was aware of what was going on. It was like watching it on TV. He knew it was happening, but he also knew there was nothing he could do to fight it. There he watched, in shock and in disbelief. Not allowed to think, or feel, just watch.

Steve, his eyes glowing blue, did as he was told without any hesitation whatsoever. Loki wanted his kiss so he gave it to him. He always followed orders, that what he was supposed to do. He was a good solider. Loki's kiss was hot and powerful. So powerful that it took Steve's breath away. His lips were actually somewhat chilly but Steve didn't mind. It made things more exciting actually. He kissed Loki until the god pulled away, Steve stood there, panting a little waiting for his new orders.

Loki was pleased with the feeling of Steve's lips. They were soft and he felt a strong desire to taint the man until he was marked and could be claimed as his own. It was then that Loki saw the opening of Tony's bedroom. His lips twisted into a devilish smile until they pressed against the flesh of Steve's ear.

"Good." He said. "Now, follow me."

"Yes, Sir." Steve said with a nod.

He called Loki that because Loki was the authority. He was the on in charge. His master. He did whatever Loki wanted. He followed Loki into Tony's bedroom. ' _Tony_...' he thought and wished he could feel something. He can tell he used to feel something when he thought of that name.

"This is, Tony's room, Sir.'" He informed Loki, he didn't think Loki would want to stay here. From what he remembers, Loki and Tony didn't like each other very much.

"Oh? Is it?" Loki asked with false innocence. Another devious took over his features. The thought of taking Steve in the sheets of the man that ridiculed him.

" _Perfect_." He said, dragging the soldier into the room. He let the door carelessly slam behind them, letting Steve's glowing blue eyes illuminate their way to the bed. Loki let his scepter hit the floor, along with his heavy clothing. Once he was completely bare, Loki's hands slithered to Steve's pants and began unraveling the belt that held the loose khakis that coated the other man's legs.

Steve was pretty sure he understood what was going on. He thinks he understands what Loki wants once he strips. Therefore, Steve helps remove his own clothes. He stands naked and he feels self conscious. No one has ever seen him like this, naked. He's never done this with anyone. His cheeks flush a slight shade of red but he never looks away from Loki. He would obey him despite how nervous he felt.

Beautiful was the first word that came to Loki's mind when he saw Steve completely exposed. Stunning, followed shortly after. But, sight was only a part of what Loki wanted. He wanted to fuck this man and make America's most loved superhero cry out the one name they cursed and feared. Loki wrapped his arms around Steve and kissed him with passion, luring him towards their destination.

Steve gave a whimper into the kiss and let his hands fall to Loki's hips and placed his hands there as they fell back on the bed, Loki on top of him. Steve gave a moan, and he was ashamed of it the second it left his mouth. The reason he moaned was because when they fell back, their cocks rubbed together, causing friction he's never felt before. He bit his lip, hard. Trying to keep his embarrassing sounds from coming out.

Loki grinned, pressing his body further into Steve. He shoved his tongue past Steve's lips, allowing his chilling muscle to explore the inside of the other man's mouth. His tongue glided across the top of Steve's tongue, while one of Loki's hands stroked the base of Steve's cock.

Steve's face was bright red now as he moaned into the chilling kiss. Loki tasted so sweet and cold at the same time. It was like kissing a mint. It was very erotic, without a doubt the most erotic thing he's ever felt on his mouth. And he's never had anyone touch his cock and the feeling is so fantastic. He never thought sex could feel this good. "Mmm, fuck," Steve whimpered. He had tried his best not to whimper or cuss, but he had failed.

Loki had Steve right where he wanted him. His fingers curled around the quivering member and started moving at a faster pace. His thumb circled around Steve's swelling red tip that was starting to bead with pre-cum. Steve felt wonderful in his hands. Loki's own cock trembled as those words echoed through his brain. His tongue swirled around the other's, while his hand continued to pick up speed.

Steve didn't know how it had happened but his arms were wrapped around, Loki's back. He was clinging to him desperately. Loki's skin was even cool, just like his sweet tongue. Steve felt like he was on fire, his heart was pounding and all he could hear was his own pathetic moans and his heart hammering in his ears. He kissed Loki back as best he could in his dizzy, lust filled, high. His cock was so hard now and he was aching for more. He hated begging, hating asking anyone in the world for a single thing, but he  _needed_ more.

"Mmm, M-More...fuck I want more." He gasped in this breathless whimper.

Loki pulled away from Steve and leaned into his ear, allowing his icy breath to tease the hairs on the soldier's neck.

"You love this, don't you?" Loki's voice cooed. He lightly kissed his ear before allowing his teeth to latch on to it.

Steve let out another moan; he clung tighter to the cool, lean yet muscular body on top of him.

"Yes." Steve answered honestly.

"Sir," he added because he felt like he had to. His cheeks flushed a slight shade of pink. He gave a wince when Loki bit down on his ear a lot harder than before.

The Captain's moans were sexy enough to make Loki's cock tremble and yearn for the entrance of the beautiful man beneath him. Loki continued to pump his hand around Steve's length.

"It is only me that should be able to see you this way, soldier. Because..." Loki's tongue slicked along the outline of Steve's ear and slid down to the sensitive part of his neck. After a cruel, yet soft kiss against the warm flesh, Loki nipped his neck.

"You." His jaw raised to a higher section on Steve's neck and he bit down harder.

"Belong." His tongue slithered back to his ear. His lips curled into another smirk.

" _To me_." He whispered possessively. And with that, he bit down on the lobe of the other man's ear as hard as he could. He loosened the strength of the bite and started sucking lightly, trying to match the rhythm of his hand movements with his lip movements.

Steve wasn't moaning anymore after that bite, he yelled in pure ecstasy. He had never felt anything like this before in his life. His whole body was trembling.

"Yes. Yes. I'm yours. I...I'm yours." He whimpered mindlessly bucking up into Loki's hand. Steve began kissing Loki's shoulder, the only part he could really reach, trying to show his affection.

"Good." Loki hummed, releasing Steve's ear. "That means that I am the only one that gets to taste you."

Without further notice, Loki positioned himself, so that his mouth was near Steve's member. His hand departed and his mouth enclosed around the pulsing cock. Just as he had done with his ear, Loki began sucking Steve's cock eagerly.

Steve's head fell back against the pillow, mouth opened as he gasped at this new sensation. Steve grabbed at the sheets and clung to them as Loki sucked him hard and fast.

"Oh my...yes." Steve moaned, trying to keep from bucking his hips into Loki's mouth.

Loki sucked harder, letting his tongue twist and tangle around the throbbing member. Steve was close. He was incredibly close. His head bobbed faster, while his chilling lips pressed roughly against Steve's cock. With a final thrust of his head, Loki shoved the member down into his throat.

"Fuck!" Steve must have screamed over and over again. He was so close, he could feel it it.

"Mmm, I'm going...fuck I'm going to..." That was the best warning Steve could give before he came hard in Loki's mouth gasping Loki's name breathlessly.

Loki swallowed what he could, enjoying the sweet, godlike taste of Steve. He separated his mouth from Steve's penis and licked the remains that clung to the skin.

"You taste wonderful, soldier." He informed him. Loki crawled back to Steve and cupped his chin. "However..." He gave him a short look of endearment before a fierce look of displeasure took over his features. "I'm not happy with the way that you said my name." He said in a sharp tone. "I am  **g _od_**. You are to scream my name as though your lungs aren't worthy of screaming it."

Steve frowned, absolutely devastated that he had upset, Loki. He just wanted to please Loki. That's all. That's what he was made to do. He was meant to please the authority.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I've...I've just never done this before." Steve said, ashed to admit it to Loki. "I promise I won't let it happen again. I'll scream your name next time, I promise." Steve swore as if this was the most import promise he would ever make. "Forgive me?" Steve pleaded and leaned forward and kissed Loki's lips gently. "Please?" He asked, all he wanted was Loki's approval.

Loki could only stare. His eyes scanned Steve closely. The twinkles in his eyes revealed that he was serious. Was he being too hard on the man? Loki grabbed his arms and pressed his weight into him. He looked Steve directly in the eyes.

"I am your God." He hissed. "You are to never forget that." Loki sprung up from the bed and began rummaging through Tony's drawers for lubricant.

 

**oOo**

Tony flicked his sunglasses to the top of his head as he pushed past the doors of Stark Tower.

"Daddy's home." He announced, tossing his briefcase carelessly onto the sofa. Once the briefcase didn't hit Steve like he had planned, Tony paused and scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion.

"Cap?" He asked, walking over to the couch.

 

**oOo**

Loki spun around at the sound of the doors shutting and glared at Steve. "What was  _that_?" Loki growled.

Steve's eyes went wide.  _'Oh, no, Tony. Why did you have to come home early?_ ' Steve thought worriedly. Tony was going to ruin everything.

"That's Tony." Steve told Loki shyly. "I'm sorry, he wasn't supposed to be home until later tonight." He said and cursed the day Tony decided to come home early.

"We can um...we can just, I don't know what we can do." Steve confessed with a shy blush, hiding his face with the covers.

"The man of iron!?" Loki asked bewildered. Loki could feel his body boil with anger. He didn't have time for this. At least, not yet. He caressed Steve's cheek and then planted a rough kiss on his smooth lips.

"Remember, soldier. You belong to  _me_." Loki gathered his clothes and vanished from the room, leaving Steve alone.

 

**oOo**

Once the couch failed to reveal Steve, Tony frowned.

"JARVIS? Any idea where Steve might be?" He asked.

"Well, hello to you too, Sir." JARVIS responded. Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yes, my readings tell me that he is in your bedroom, Sir." Tony nodded.

"Thanks." He walked across the room and pushed open the slightly closed door that led to his bedroom.

"Ste-" Tony paused, blinking at the sight before him. There before him, stood his very attractive (not that Tony noticed or anything) roommate sitting on his bed, completely exposed with torn fabric draping his feet. Tony swallowed.

"You know, Cap. I know that you missed me and I also know that you find me irresistible, I mean, come on." Tony gestured to his body. "But jerking off in my bedroom is a little too disturbing to be considered flattering." He smirked. "Nice to know that you actually have a sex drive, though."

That part of Steve's mind, the part that just sitting back and watching, is so thankful to see Tony. He wants Tony to help him, make all of this stop. He felt used, he felt so dirty and he could do nothing about it.

Steve was very short tempered at the moment. Loki was gone and he still ached to be touched by his god. He glared at Tony.

"That's not what I was doing, Tony. Don't flatter yourself. Thanks for fucking up my night by the way." Steve hissed sarcastically as he gathered up his clothes.

He's pretty sure he's never said one cuss word to Tony at all but he felt like now was a very good time to start.

"Where'd he put my belt?" He asked to himself and found it on the floor.

"Why are you home early?" He asked angrily as he began to slide his clothes back on without a care in the world that Tony saw. His shirt was still in the living room though, damn.

Tony froze and gave Steve a skeptic look. For some reason, he couldn't help but feel anger rippling through him.

'Where did  _he_  put his  _what_?' Tony's mind echoed. There's no way that Steve could have been this upset and there is  _no fucking way_ that he was having sex with anyone, let alone, a man. Tony finally threw his head back a let out a laugh.

"Oh! Right! Haha. Very funny." He said. "This is because I kept you up while I was with-um...shit! What was her name? Cleo? Clara? Clarice?" He shrugged.

"So, you made it look like you had sex in my bed to get revenge. Well done, Cap."

"Her name was Clarissa, and this has nothing to do with how loud she was." Steve said said and finally got his pants on. He went over to Tony's bedside table and took his lube and put it in his pocket. "I'm taking this. I'll need it later." He said simply, his shirt still off. He brushed pass Tony's shoulder pretty hard as he walked into the living room.

"Um, JARVIS? Care to explain?" Tony scratched his head. "Do you have any surveillance footage or know anything that I don't?" He asked.

"Afraid not, Sir. Remember the arrangement you and Master Rogers had agreed to?" JARVIS responded.

"Damit! That's right." Tony sighed.

When Steve had moved in, he had to adjust to a new environment. Unfortunately for poor Steve, he couldn't handle JARVIS on his own and the surveillance cameras made him uncomfortable. He and Tony had agreed that JARVIS and the surveillance cameras would be offline and would only be activated whenever Tony was present. This agreement also entitled Tony to have occasional parties and weekly hook-ups. Up until now, the agreement hadn't have been a problem for Tony. Why would Steve be needing his lubricant? He groaned and followed Steve into the living room.

"Cap, I need to ask you a few things."

"What? Tony?" Steve asked, clearly annoyed with the man.

He turned to look at him. Bright blue eyes almost matching the color of that arc reactor. He found his shirt and began putting it back on. "I don't know what you could ask me about, it's pretty obvious what happened. I was with someone and you made them leave." Steve snapped.

"Well, excuse me, Captain. I should have known better than to come back home to  _my_  place." Tony spat back.

"I mean, how fucking dare me!" He eyed Steve with flames blazing within his dark brown irises.

"You knew that I was coming back tonight, Steve. What the hell happened to you?"

"Nothing happened to me!" Steve hissed furiously. Voice sounding scary even to his own hears.

"Just leave me the hell alone, Tony!" He yelled and began walking back to his own room. God, he hated Tony. He ruined everything.

"Welcome back." He said sarcastically and continued down the hall.

Tony fell to the couch in a huff.

' _Stupid Steve._ ' He thought to himself.

All he wanted to do when he came home was to sprawl out on the couch and share a pizza with Steve while they watched a movie. Now, he wanted to drink until he couldn't see straight. He groaned. Why was Steve so stupid? Why was he so attractive why he was angry?

Tony got up from the couch and started making his way over to the bar. He retrieved a bottle of scotch and a large glass. He poured himself a large cup of scotch and gulped the contents at a rapid speed. The images of Steve's furrowed eyebrows and flared nostrils were enough to make Tony throw the glass to the ground, it shattering in the process, and resume his drinking by sipping straight from the bottle.

"Sir! Have you lost your mind?" JARVIS yelled. But Tony ignored him, thoughts of Steve possessing the better and the worst of him.

Why did he have to have such a desirable body? And why was Steve's sex hair urging Tony to stroke himself? And why were his eyes so...Tony separated the bottle from his lips and placed it on the counter. That fucking abnormal blue. "You've got to be fucking kidding me..."

 

**oOo**

Steve heard the glass shattered from his bedroom but choose to ignore it as he sketched in his bed. His shirt was off as his feet rested under the covers, back against the headboard as he sketched. At first he was just mindless drawing, but then those mindless drawing turned into Loki.

The words, ' _Your mine, I am your God_ ,' echoing in his head. Those words didn't scare him, they excited him.

He wanted to see Loki again. Desperately. He missed him. He drew him, completely naked because when he thought of Loki now he thought of him naked. He was built so well. Lean, tall, muscular, but not too muscular. He was perfect.

Steve jumped when his bedroom door swung open and Tony was there. "What the fuck, Tony?!" Steve yelled in shock, quickly trying to hide his drawing underneath the covers. "What happened to the knocking rule you, ass!" He shouted.

Tony don't answer him. He glanced down at Steve's "work of art" and suddenly wondered if he would ever have an appetite again. He closed his eyes and fought the vomit that rose up his throat. He swallowed, knowing that barfing wasn't why he had come in here in the first place. With one swift movement of his hands, he swooped Steve up by his shoulders and shoved him to the wall.

"You didn't seem to mind when Reindeer Games barged in." He hissed. "What did he do to you, Steve?!"

"What seems to be the problem, Stark? Are you jealous that I took your little soldier before you could?" Loki chuckled as he appeared into the room.

"Loki,'"Steve said and couldn't help but smile a little. He was so happy to see him. He was worried he'd never get to again because of stupid Tony.

"And no, Sir. He's not jealous, he's just an asshole." He shot a glare at Tony. Steve got out of bed and gave Tony a shove.

"Go away, Tony." He ordered, deathly serious.

"I couldn't possibly care any less what you and Winghead do together." Tony lied.

"Good." Loki said, pulling Steve into a long, sensual kiss, keeping his cold eyes on Tony, who rolled his eyes. He pushed a hand through Steve's hair after he pulled away.

"So, you don't care that I made your Captain cry out in pleasure in your very bed?" He cupped Steve's chin. "Oh, what a shame no one else will get to hear and see how beautiful you are."

Tony bit his lip in anger. It took every ounce of his strength to not lash out and strangle Loki to death. How dare he talk about his-teammate...? Roommate? Err..friend?-How dare he talk about Steve like that! It sickened him with fury.

"You fucking asshole!" Tony said through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry?" Loki asked sarcastically. "Didn't quite catch that."

"Actually, it is us that will be leaving," Loki said to Steve. He flashed his smirk at Tony. "I'll just be taking what's rightfully mine," he said, grinning at Steve.

"You know what, I don't think you will." Tony said, walking towards the pair. "You know," he pushed Steve aside and threw Loki to the ground. "My dad created him. Therefore, he is Stark property."

Loki cackled as a clone of him appeared behind Tony and threw him against the door.

Steve stood there, only shocked that these two were fighting over him. Why couldn't Tony just stay out of this?

 

**oOo**

There was a huge crack of thunder and then all of the sudden Thor stood in the room. Steve jumped and looked at Thor who was clearly infuriated with Loki.

"I leave you alone for a few days and  _this_ is what I come back too? You using the poor Captain for sexual gain and hurting the man of iron? I thought you were passed this type behavior, Loki." Thor said lowly, disappointed, hurt, and angry all at the same time.

The clone Loki had used to hurt Tony vanished along with that evil look on Loki's face.

"W-W-what does he mean use me?" Steve stuttered, heart breaking. His knees felt weak so he sat on the bed, trying to breath.

And even through those scary looking blue eyes looked like a wounded puppy.

Loki looked up at Thor, stunned.

"Shows how little you know, Thor." He spat.

"And how dare you claim that you ," ' _left me alone for a few days!_ ' " He yelled. "I saw you with Sif! It's obvious that you don't need nor do you want me anymore. So, I'm trying to prove the same to you!"

Tony picked himself off the floor and patted Steve on the back.

"You're under his spell, Cap. Whatever you think of him is all an act. You're not in love with him."

Steve shook his head. No. Tony was lying to him. Loki wouldn't do that to him. He wouldn't. Tears came to Steve's eyes but before anyone could see hid his face in his hands.

"We were planning a battle! I had to go off with her and the Warriors Three to another Realm! I tried to find to tell you but I had already been told you had gone to earth, I didn't have time to tell you." Thor argued. He looked at the Captain, his friend, his very good friend and fellow warrior in a state of heart break because of Loki. He glared at Loki.

"Take your spell off the Captain! Can you not see what you have done to the poor man?" Thor roared.

Loki froze and looked up at Thor. For a second, he was about to apologize, but he was still so angry that he decided to continue the argument.

"She repulses me, Thor! That poor excuse for a warrior is infatuated with you and you're blind about it!" He crossed his arms.

"It's upsetting seeing that wench around you all of the time! I will not break my spell on the soldier. I enjoy him this way and he doesn't let anyone else get in the way of what we have! He was perfectly happy until you came here! So, leave us!"

Thor sighed, Loki could be so damn stubborn sometimes. He looked at Tony who had his arm around Steve, trying to console him.

"I so sorry, Tony. I should have kept a better eye on my own lover." Thor said, and shot his glare at Loki again.

"Listen to me, if Sif does have feelings for me, I do not care, I only have feelings for one person, and that is you, my love." He said, walking forward and caressing Loki's cheek.

"Leave the Captain be and we shall go home." He pleaded, pushing some hair out of Loki's face. He was used to his antics, Loki cheating on him hurt, but he knew Loki had only done it because he honestly thought he was seeing Sif.

Loki looked at Steve and then looked back at Thor. Some unknown reason, Loki withdrew his staff and walked over to Steve and pressed it to his chest. The eerie, blue glow disappeared from Steve's eyes and returned to his normal ocean, blue color. Loki walked back to Thor and took his hands in his own.

"I am truly sorry, Thor," he said. He looked into Thor's eyes.

"I am terrified of losing you. I thought that I lost you to her and all that I wanted was to show you how much you hurt me." Loki raised one of his hands to his lips and kissed them.

"I realize now that as long as I care for you, nothing else should matter."

"You are wise, Loki...it just takes you a moment to realize the obvious." Thor chuckled.

 

**oOo**

Steve...he was numb. He sat there and was back to normal but he felt so fucking dirty. He had been used and he wanted to vomit. What was horrible is that his body enjoyed everything Loki did to him. He had moaned Loki's name. He had begged for his touch. Steve was thankful he was still mostly a virgin, but it still broke his heart the first sexual experience he had was with Loki. Tears came to his eyes and he wiped them away.

"Excuse me." He said, voice cracking.

He walked into the bathroom in his room. He needed to take shower. He needed to wash away how horribly dirty he felt. He closed the door and didn't even remember to lock it. He turned the shower on as hot as it could go and hopped in. Tears streaming down his face. He felt dirty, he felt like he couldn't breathe and part of him just wants to die.

 

**oOo**

"You should have apologized to, Steve." Thor said firmly to Loki, but it was too late, he had already left the room.

Loki sighed. "I don't think he will ever want to see me again." He looked down at the drawing that was lying on the bed.

"That is a great portrait of me." He said with a chuckle. He stopped once he saw Thor's look of disapproval. Loki turned to Tony and frowned.

"I am sor-"

"Save it. Just go." Tony responded.

Thor new that nothing either of them could say would fix that damage that had been done. He took Loki's hand and held it. He looked at Tony apologetically.

"I truly sorry this ever happened, I swear I shall not ever let it happen again." He said and without any other word, vanished with Loki.

 

**oOo**

Steve had been in the shower for a long hour now, body flushed red because of how hot the water was. He had continued to rub himself with soap and water, trying to make this horrible dirty feeling go away. He had rubbed most of his skin raw but it kept healing which only made him more furiously. He sat in the shower, still rubbing at parts of his body, trying to make this disgusted feeling go away. He hated himself for letting get used like that. He hated everything about this. He hated being so rude to, Tony. He hated his life right now.

 

**oOo**

Tony grabbed the drawing and took it downstairs with his briefcase. Knowing Steve, he probably wouldn't ever draw again if he knew about this one. He slid on his replusor glove and fired a be at the drawing, causing Loki's portrait fade away from existence with crisp embers. Dummy swiveled past him and extinguished the burning paper until only a pile of ashes remained.

Tony sat down at his desk and pulled out his tablet and started working on a new blueprint for a new grenade that the armed forces were requesting. He found that inspiration was blocked by Steve. He did have a towel, didn't he? Tony scribbled madly with the stylus once his 3rd attempt was unsuccessful. He opened another blank page and started working again. He managed to create a decent design for the grenade. Did Steve have clean clothes? And the cycle continued until Tony's 9th failed attempt. He groaned and shut the device down in defeat.

"Fine! I'll just procrastinate until the last minute." He muttered at the tablet.

"Sir, might I mention that that's what you always-"

"Shut up, JARVIS!" Tony snapped.

He walked back upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door.

Seriously, how long was Steve in there?

"Go away." Steve said weakly, shower still running.

The water hadn't even got cold yet. The benefits of being a billionaire, they didn't run out of hot water, even after more then a good hour. He still sat in the shower, knees brought to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his face hidden in his knees. He was trying to focus on breathing. It was hard to do when he felt like he was about to vomit any second. He kept having these horrible flash backs to a few hours early, all the things he was letting Loki do to him...and even scarier, the horrible things he remembers wanted to do to him.

"Just go away," Steve said again, voice cracking slightly. He hugged his knees tighter. He felt so dirty, he felt sick. He never wanted his first sexual experience to be like this.

Someone, he's assuming Tony, knocked again.

"Leave me alone, Tony!" He shouted, voice coming out as a sob, and he hated that he was crying.

Tony didn't need to see him like this, he didn't want to see himself like this...he just wanted to be left alone. No one could make this sickening feeling go away.

Tony frowned at the door. "Steve, I...um." He scratched his head. "Do you have a towel?"

"Yes," Steve said without really knowing. He answered a bit too quickly.

"I do, okay? Just go away." He pleaded and then, he just thought he wanted to hit something.

He wanted to kill something.

Steve turned off the shower, dried off a bit and put on some sweat pants and nothing else. He opened the door and found Tony standing there. He gave Tony a look, trying to show he was fine...but he most likely looked terrified. He knew his eyes were still red. He knew his skin must be a unhealthy shade of red as well because of the steaming hot water.

"Excuse me," he said before Tony could speak and gently moved past him.

Tony raised his hands when Steve pushed passed him. "Alright, alright, princess. I'll stay out of your way!"

Steve heard the name Tony called him but was too focused on one thing to go back an punch Tony for it. He hurried downstairs to the gym. He needed to hit something. He had to do something to distract himself. He just wanted the pain to go away, he wanted this disgusted feeling to go away...maybe hitting a few punching bags would do that. When he got down to the gym he saw a bag he had left hanging there from a few nights ago still hanging. Without wrapping his hands up properly, without any word what so ever, he gave a frustration scream and laid a heavy punch into the bag, imagining Loki. The bag went flying across the room, cracking the wall when it hit.

Steve stood there, panting. That wasn't good enough. He had to do more.

 

**oOo**

Tony walked over to the kitchen where he had left the bottle of scotch and snatched the bottle up. He stomped back down to the lab and slammed the bottle on his desk. Why should he care about Steve when the man clearly didn't want to be cared about? It pissed him off. Why did he care about the patriotic idiot in the first place? That question pissed him off the most. He reached for the bottle and took a long swig. He was caught off guard when he heard a loud scream and a loud cracking sound from upstairs.

"JARVIS, surveillance camera. Now!" Tony commanded.

"Sir, I'm afraid that invades the agreement with Master Rogers."

"Fuck the agreement!" Tony snapped.

JARVIS accessed the Stark surveillance cameras and Tony scrolled through the holographic monitors until he found Steve in the gym, punching the punching bags. He was really taking this hard.

Steve's not sure how many bags he's gone through 10? 20? He's going through them too fast, but that's because he's trying to pretend that these stupid bags are Loki. He's trying to kill him but every fucking time the bag just fly's off the hook. He ran out of bags and now there was a pail of bags against the wall. Steve stood there, covered in sweat and panting.

"Damn it!" He growled and began walking back upstairs.

He was too angry to pick the bags up and start back over. He walked back up stairs and found Tony drinking. He rolled his eyes. Tony always drank. At the worst times too.

"Thanks for calling me princess. That really helped me." He spat sarcastically as he walked back to his room without another word.

He needed to do something. He had to distract himself somehow. He couldn't focus on what happened. He turned back around to Tony who still stood at the bar.

"Are you just going to stand there and drink!?" He demanded out of anger. He just wanted to start a fight, wanted something,  _anything_  to happen so he didn't have to think anymore.

"Why in the hell do you think mocking me is going to help me right now?!" He shouted, still panting and sweating head to toe.

' _Thank God_.' Tony thought to himself.

He was glad that Steve was talking to him finally. Tony could work with angry. Hell, he managed to make a friend out of Bruce Banner. He decided to push the soldier further with this distraction.

"Yep. And guess what else,  _princess._ " He sneered. Tony took another sip and walked towards Steve. "I had JARVIS access the surveillance cameras while you were in the gym."

He knew how much Steve hated the surveillance system. A smug look spread across his face. That had to do it.

"Quite the hidden talent you got there, Cap."

Steve gave a laugh. Of course. Of course Tony Stark wouldn't follow their privacy agreement.

"You know what? I don't care! You saw me! No big deal!" He shouted. It wasn't like Tony had seen him break down, but he was very close to it.

"But call me Princess one more time and I swear to God I won't be able to stop myself from punching you in the face." He hissed.

He felt like hitting something and Tony was an okay substitute. Tony put a hand on his shoulder, smirking while he did it.

"Don't fucking, touch me!" He said suddenly, backing away.

He didn't like the feeling of being touched right now. He didn't want to be touched. He felt too dirty to be touched, it reminded Steve of Loki touching him.

"Just, don't touch me." He panted, weaker that time, voice small and scared.

He sighed and placed his head in his hands, trying stop the break down from coming. He didn't want Tony to see him cry.

Tony raised his hands. "Okay, okay! I won't. Sheesh." He said, shaking his head. This was harder than he thought it would be.

He wasn't sure what Steve needed, but maybe avoiding the problem wasn't the answer.

"You know, Steve, avoiding it isn't going to make it go away. It's not like you're the only person in the world that's been taken advantage of. I'm not saying that what he did was right; I'm just saying that you're not alone." He looked down at the bottle in his hands and then raised it to Steve.

Steve took a few shaking breaths, trying to breath. He didn't want to cry in front of Tony, he'd die of shame and embarrassment.

"I...I don't want to think about it." Steve said, voice as control as he could make it.

He looked up and took the bottle from Tony. He couldn't get drunk, but he'd sure as hell like to try. He brought the bottle to his lips and drank all it's contents in one go. He heard Tony objecting to drinking it all but he didn't care. He finished it and handed the bottle to Tony even though he wanted to throw it across the room so he could hear and see it shatter.

"Okay, then let's think about..." Tony looked around the room for something... _anything_  that could get Steve's mind off of it. His eyes landed on the tablet.

"Cap, I know that you can draw a pretty mean portrait, but how good are you at designing?"

Steve shuttered at the word portrait, thinking of that damn picture of Loki he had wanted to draw. He was thankfully it was gone. He didn't know who got rid of it, but he was thankful to whoever removed it. Steve shrugged, he must look utterly pathetic.

"I've never tried." He said with a sigh. "What does design have to do with anything?" He asked curiously.

"Design has to do with everything." Tony said, walking over to retrieve his tablet.

"I need to make a new grenade for some shitheads on the west coast." Tony booted up the tablet and opened up a high-tech, illustrating program.

"I know the internal units that I'm gonna install in it, but can't seem to get the design right. Perhaps you'd be better at it than I ? Especially since you're more sober than I could ever be."

"Okay." Steve said, a little unsure. He wasn't sure he'd be much help in his emotional state but he'd try for Tony.

"I'll try." He said and took the tablet from Tony.

He thankfully knew how to use it, that was also because of Tony. Tony taught him how to do a lot of high-tech things.

"I may not be any good at it," he said with a sigh.

He had this frown on his face, a permanent thing, one that wasn't going away anytime soon, one he didn't even know was there.

"Come on, Cap." Tony said. "I mean, you're probably no where near as good as I , but I'm sure that you can come up with some weird design that they'll love."

That would usually make Steve smile, he always smiled when Tony gave him compliments, even if they were a little mean by saying he wasn't as good as Tony. It used to make him smile. Because he knew deep down Tony meant it nicely. He didn't smile anymore, though. Couldn't bring himself too.

"Whatever you say, Tony." He said, almost emotionless. He walked over to the couch and sat down by himself. Crossing his legs and beginning to create the best grenade he could for Tony's work.

"You have no idea, Cap." Tony rambled. "I have some works of art on that tablet that will shock you. Hey! Want anything else to drink?" He asked, remembering the empty bottle.

"Yes." Steve said just as dully. He kept working on Tony's weapon on the tablet. "Please." He added after moment because that was the polite thing to do.

"Works of art? This is nice, Tony. It really is,but...you call a grenade art?" He asked curiously.

Tony came back with two bottles of wine and placed one in front of Steve.

"Well, yes." He answered.

"I mean, that's  _your_  work of art. It wasn't there ten minutes ago, was it?" He laughed and began opening the bottles with a corkscrew.

"No, it's really incredible what you can do. You somehow manage to manipulate lines and colors and whatnot to your advantage and it actually looks  _good_." He offered a small smile at Steve.

"All I can do is get bored at business meetings and scribble nonsense to pass the time. Or play Angry Birds." He added.

"I like Angry Birds." Steve said, for the first time smiling a little.

It wasn't a huge smile, but it was a faint one that you'd notice if you were looking. The frown came back, he couldn't help it.

"Thank you, that means a lot." He said and kept designing, he was almost finished.

Tony offered him a glass of wine, and he stopped drawing for a second and drowned the glass in one go. "I can't get drunk, but I feel like tonight a good night to try again." He explained his behavior and continued to design.

"Well, you live with the right person for that challenge." Tony said, taking a sip from the bottle. He craned his neck to get a glimpse at Steve's design, but it was hard to see with his head bowed so low.

"Have you ever tried getting drunk?"

"Many times." Steve said with a sigh.

He finished up the design and handed the tablet over to Tony.

"Here, I hope this helps you." He said and grabbed the bottle from Tony's hand.

He took a sip from the bottle, a long sip. He wished he could get drunk, it would make things...less painful. Even if it was just for a little while.

"I got drunk once when I was 18...I was so hungover the next day I said I'd never drink again. But..after the serum, my best friend died, all I wanted to do is get drunk, wouldn't work." He explained and took another sip of the wine. "I've tried a lot since I woke up in this century, I still can't get drunk." He admitted and looked over at Tony. "Is the design what you need?" He asked.

The design was beyond incredible. Tony almost didn't believe that Steve had created it even though he saw him drawing it moments before. He blinked and tilted his head at the tablet. Steve was so troubled, but he still managed to create something beautiful. It was a gift. A rare one that Tony wished that he had.

"It's...um...perfect?" He asked, mainly out of disbelief that he would compliment Steve to this degree.

"I've been trying to come up with something half this good all night and didn't even come close." He said honestly. "I'm sorry about your friend." He added.

"It's...It's okay. He passed a long time ago." He said with a sigh. "And thank you, Tony." He said, he meant it and he wished his voice could show how much he really meant it, but he couldn't. He began to drink more and more of the bottle and before he knew it, he accidentally drank all of it.

"Sorry." He said sadly and put the bottle on the table.

He blushed and tried to hide by placing his face in his hands. Now that he didn't have anything to work on anymore, all he could think about is what happened. To try to stop the images from coming, he removed his hands and looked at Tony.

"Do you think he did this to Agent Barton?" He asked, utterly devastated. What if Clint had gone through the same thing and no one knew about it? What If Steve wasn't the first person Loki had done this too.

"I don't know. I doubt it because Natasha would have ripped his head off." Tony shrugged and offered Steve the other bottle. It was helping him and that's all that he needed to know to offer Steve another bottle. "Also, his intentions were entirely different."

"Good." Steve said, and he meant it. He was glad he was the only one Loki had... violated. He sighed and took a sip from the bottle. Maybe he could just keep drinking, maybe if he was lucky he'd get drunk. "I'm sorry for all those terrible things I said to you when I was...under his control. I treated you horribly." Steve said sadly.

"Steve, it's alright." Tony said, raising a hand.

"I'm sorry too. For...well, everything." Tony picked the tablet back up.

"Would you mind if I used this? This is probably the greatest design that I've ever seen for a grenade."

Steve smiled, a small one, but it felt nice to smile. He nodded.

"Sure, go right ahead." He said and brought his legs to his chest. Bringing his head to his knees, he turned his head to watch Tony.

Trying to focus on him. Tony always made things better. If he could focus on him, maybe he'd be okay for tonight. Steve just needed to keep talking.

"Tony when you came home, I acted like I was angry but really...you have no idea how happy I was to see you. I just couldn't show it." Steve sighed and can't believe he's talking about this.

He shouldn't talk about this. It would only lead to a break down.

"In here," he pointed at his head, "I thought, ' _Thank God, he can help me.._.' But then...the horrible scary movie just kept going and I couldn't do anything to stop it."

Steve found that it was hard to breath again. Why was he talking about this? He shouldn't be talking about it. Tony didn't want to hear any of this.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be talking about this." Steve said and hid his face in his knees.

Steve opening up to him was very sweet in Tony's eyes. He felt somewhat responsible for tonight's events.

"I've been pestering you to confront this. So, I'm actually glad that we're getting this out in the clear." Tony put a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I had to go. Maybe next time I'll take you with me and we can pass each other notes during the meetings and have Angry Birds competitions at the suite."

Where the  _hell_ did  _that_ come from? He sounded like an elementary schoolgirl asking to hang out with the boy that she had a crush on. Tony must have been drunker than he thought.

Steve laughed, a small breathless sound, but it was still laugh. He turned his head to look at Tony again, smiling a little.

"That would be nice," he said and after a moment the frown was back.

"Tony, we didn't...we didn't get that far but...we went further then I have ever gone." He admitted, voice shy. "I'll never get that back." He sighed.

Damn Loki. What's horrible is that in some daydream before all this stuff happened, he'd always imagine Tony would be his first. There was no way he wanted him now. Steve wouldn't blame him for it.

Tony wrinkled his nose in shock. Was Steve really going to give him all the details? It was still sad that Steve was in his...what the hell was Steve's true age? He was in the ice for 80 years, but was he still technically in his early 30s? ' _Too confusing_ ,' Tony decided to himself.

"I'll tell you this now, Cap. Almost every single person in this world has sexual experiences that they're not proud of and about 70% of the time, it turns out they're first time being the most awkward." Tony said.

"It will take a long time to get over something like this, but you'll get through it. You're Captain America. You're the strongest person that I know-next to me, of course."

Steve smiled. It was nice how Tony thought of him. That's part of the reason he has feelings for Tony. Because of how nice he is. It's rare to see him nice, but those rare moments really made him feel special.

"Your right, Tony." He said but it was clear he was still sad. "But...I just wanted...my first to be...someone I cared about." He sighed and hid his face again.

If he wasn't so old fashioned none of this would be a big deal.

"I mean, I wouldn't even slow dance with anyone because I wanted to make sure my first dace was with a person I cared about." He explained, voice muffled because he was hiding his face.

"Still got that to look forward to, I guess." He muttered he looked over at Tony.

"Unless Loki comes back and makes me dance with him." He said, not joking at all. He thought it was very possible.

Tony couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Dancing? Really, Steve?" If only the man knew how much dancing had evolved. Tony wondered if Steve had ever masturbated.

"Are you one of those people that thinks holding hands with someone is a big step in the relationship?" He stopped himself from joking any further.

He couldn't afraid to ruin what he had tried so hard to build.

"To be honest, I think that's awesome." He said. "People don't take relationships seriously anymore. There needs to be more passionate and determined people like you."

"You being one of them." Steve said, feeling comfortable enough to joke. He smiled when Tony shot him a look.

"And yes I one of those people." He said, with a proud smile. He sat up right, still holding his knees.

"I don't hold hands with everyone, neither do you. So once anyone starts holding hands, it's a big deal." He insisted with a smile.

He hadn't thought of the horrible things Loki had done in a while and he was happy about that.

"And I think people should take relationship more seriously, not everything is about fucking." He said, blushing at using the word. "But I know a ton of people who would disagree." He laughed.

"You might be on to something there." Tony said.

He secretly bet that Steve would be the snuggling type. He wondered what it would be like to cuddle with him. He flashed back to the sight of Steve's sex hair and how fucking attractive he looked. Tony frowned and decided to change the subject. He couldn't taint Steve. He was better than that. He was better than Loki.

"You'll find someone special, Cap. Don't let tonight stop you from ever finding love. Loki is just a bastard who lost his mind."

"I still don't get why Thor loves him." Steve sighed. "Everyone has someone I suppose." He frowned and looked over at Tony.

"And...I won't. I had...um...I was interested in someone." He admitted shyly, cheeks flushes red. What was he doing? Maybe he was drunk a little. He shouldn't be saying this! This was getting to close to telling Tony the truth.

"I guess it's only something that could be understood in a different realm. I still don't understand anything that Thor does." Tony said with a laugh. Damnit. This wasn't the right conversation...

"Oh, that army chick, right?" Tony asked. "My dad told me about her. He said that you and her were really close."

Steve laughed at Tony's comment about Thor. Steve was glad Tony assumed he was talking about Peggy. Made things easier.

"Yeah, um...Peggy." He said with a sigh. He should sound more convincing. "Um, she was...my first girl." He said with a small smile.

"It's funny, she was my girl and we never even got to go out on a date." He laughed.

In all honesty, he hardly knew Peggy. He just knew little thing. Like where she was from, what kind of music she liked. Little things, not the big things a boyfriend should know. Did he ever really love her? He didn't know. He knows he cared about her though.

"That's pretty good progress. I've been with many men and women that I didn't know  _anything_  about. But then, I guess that's not a relationship." Tony said with a shrug.

"The only exception is Pepper, but she started off as my best friend." He said.

"If anyone asks, you can tell them that Peggy was your first." Tony said. "I'll back you up on it. People will listen to me."

Steve laughed, a really happy one, not a bad or scary though in his head. He laughed and let his head fall to Tony's shoulder because he was laughing so hard. He forced himself to sit back up, still smiling.

"No. I don't want that. I don't want to lie. I like the fact that I'm still a...half virgin." He chuckled.

Only Tony could turn something horrible into something funny.

Tony raised his hand. "Oh, no need, Cap. I'm fully aware that you and Peggy almost went all the way. I know what you two were  _really_  doing in the bunkers." He teased.

Steve laughed again and covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing so loud. He knew if Peggy were here she'd laugh too. He kept laughing into his hand and fell back onto the couch, laying down, leaving his feet in Tony's lap.

"You're crazy." He teased with a smile. This...this is what should have been happening when Tony got home tonight. This is how things normally were.

"A bit." Tony admitted. "But you said that  _you_  don't want to lie. You didn't say anything about me lying for you." He looked down at Steve as he laughed.

His eyes widened and his lips curled into a genuine smile. Steve looked so incredible. The sound of his laughter also had a strong effect on him. His heart started beating in his chest.

"And I'd do anything for you." Tony said.

That, that right there, was why he thinks he may be in love with Tony. Those little comment he made, made him feel so strongly. It made his heart beat faster, made him feel nervous in a good kind of way. He smiled at Tony.

"I'll do anything for you too, Tony." He promised him and them smirked once he thought of something.

"Like doing your own work for you." He teased and playfully kicked Tony, not even hard enough to hurt.

"Yeah, you're good for that." Tony said, grabbing his foot. "You're also good for drinking down insane amounts of wine. You could be my personal wine taster." He laughed.

"Yeah, I'd be the perfect wine taster since I can't get drunk." He laughed and let Tony take his foot hostage.

He could very well get his foot back but he had no plans too. He watched Tony with a smile on his face, his heart still racing.

"And just because I'll do anything for you don't think that gives you the excuse to make me do everything for you." He warned with a smile.

"Don't worry. Pissing you off is one of my favorite hobbies." Tony said with a laugh. "Don't think I'll give that one up so easily." He raised his spare hand to Steve's foot and smirked. "Are you ticklish, Cap?"

"Don't." Steve warned and pulled his foot away quickly.

"I'm not," he lied and he was doing a horrible job at it.

"Just...don't." He warned but he couldn't stop smiling.

What's hilarious to him, is that he could get up and leave to make sure Tony doesn't tickle him, but he doesn't. He lays there, smiling like an idiot. The things Tony Stark could make him do.

"Right..." Tony said, crawling towards him.

"I'm totally convinced." Tony froze, instantly regretting his actions. He retreated his movements and, instead, grabbed the tablet that was laying on the coffee table.

Steve frowned when Tony didn't look. He thought they were having a good time. He was honestly having one. Tony was making him feel like nothing had happened. He was distracting him.

"Hey," he said kicking Tony again.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked with confusion kicking Tony lightly over and again.

It was almost like he was begging but he didn't care. He was worried he'd turn Tony away somehow. He didn't mean to make Tony think it wasn't okay to...play with him like that. He was honestly happy they were acting so childish. It was fun. Steve was having fun not thinking about the horrible things that had happened a few hours ago.

"What just happened?" He asked, still kicking lightly.

"What did I do?" He asked, that time sounded a little worried.

Tony continued to fiddle with the tablet, trying to bite back the smile the yearned to appear. Steve needed a cuteness limit.

"I almost crossed a line that I don't think you want me to cross." He answered, not looking up.

Steve raised his eye brows with disbelief. Since when did Tony care about crossing lines?

"What line? The tickling me line? I didn't see the line...and if I didn't want you to do it, I think I would have kicked you really hard." He said with a smile and hated that Tony didn't even look at him.

He sighed. Tony was hot and cold sometimes. It got in the way of a lot of fun things.

"You want me to ask you to tickle me you smug bastard, it's not happening." He said, a bit smugly himself. He crossed his arms across his chest and watched Tony.

He gave another light kick to Tony, feeling ashamed for it.

Tony turned to Steve and put the tablet down. He started crawling towards Steve again.

"Is this really what you want?"

All Tony could think of was Loki. Loki manipulated Steve's body for his own pleasure and, now, he was about to do the same. Any second now, Steve would shove him off and prove the point that he was trying to make in the first place.

Steve nodded, a smile on his face. He couldn't even understand why Tony was acting so strange. Steve felt fine. Hadn't though about Loki in a long time. As Tony got closer, he didn't think about Loki, because Tony wasn't Loki.

"Tony, it's just ticking, it's not like we're getting married." He'd tease but his heart was racing a bit faster then before.

"But...if you don't want to, you don't have to." He assured him. He'd understand if Tony didn't want to touch him.

"I mean...why would you want to touch me after that...lunatic touched me." He sighed, cursing himself for thinking about the god.

"I'm fine though, I promise." He said and he was about 85% sure about that.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Steve." Tony said. He placed his hands beside each side of Steve's head. "I'm sorry, but, I'm worried about you." He admitted.

"You showered for nearly two hours and then you destroyed God knows how many punching bags in the gym." Tony looked Steve in the eyes.

"I just think that I'll spark some bad memories if I touch you."

What's sad is that Tony's right. It's horrible when he's right. Steve hates to admit it. Part of him still feels like he could curl in on himself and just cry. He tried to pretend that wasn't happening. Tony did a really good job at making him feel like nothing is wrong.

"I hate when your right." Steve said, frowning.

They had to stop. There was a chance that he could kick Tony across the room because he had a flash back. He just wished he could pretend like everything was okay. Like he wasn't damaged. Like he didn't feel dirty.

"Do me a favor? Just...don't...treat me like I'm broken, okay? I may be but I just want you to treat me like you normally do. That makes me feel, happy." He confessed with a shrug and was thankfully Tony hadn't moved.

He wished he had the courage to just lean up and kiss him. He didn't though.

"Thank you, for worrying about me." He said, staring into those dark eyes.

"And I'll tell you why I was in the shower for so long if you want." He offered shyly, cheeks flushing a little.

"Well, we're on the same page, so, that's good." Tony said. He crawled back to his spot and scooped up the tablet.

"Ah, no need. I already know. You and Peggy. Round two." Tony said with a smirk.

Steve sighed and set up. Still hating that Tony was right and they couldn't get close anymore. He hated that he couldn't pretend anymore. He liked acting as if everything was okay. He smiled at bit at Tony's joke. That sounded like an okay story, too bad that's no where near what happened.

"I was um...trying to get clean. I kept scrubbing my self raw trying to make the dirty feeling go away, it wouldn't." He said with a shrug.

He sighed, he still felt that way.

"I still feel dirty." He confessed and swears he would kill Loki if he saw him again.

Tony gave Steve a sad nod.

"I figured that's what you were doing." Tony swatted playfully at Steve's foot that continued to dangle near his lap. He snatched it up again and smiled. "Well, the bastard didn't touch your feet did he?"

Steve sat up on his elbows, watching Tony. He smiled brightly and thought for a second, he smiled even brighter once he realized something.

"He didn't." He said, completely happy. That was about the only thing the god didn't touch.

"Thank God, I would have been screwed if he had a feet fetish." He joked and lightly kicked Tony like he had been doing before.

I hate to tell you this, Captain, but" Tony smirked and tickled Steve's foot. "I just took your feet-tickling-virginity."

"Tony!" Steve laughed like an idiot, his feet tingling at the sensation.

He could have yanked his foot away but he didn't. He squirmed a bit but he couldn't help that as he laughed. "Tony!" He laughed loudly and was sure that if anyone else lived in this building, they would have heard.

Steve had a contagious laugh. It caused Tony to start laughing himself.

"What are you gonna do about it, Cap?"

Steve couldn't take it anymore, his sides were hurting from laughing so hard. He pulled his foot away and still laughed. Trying to stop laughing but he felt so happy to be laughing like this.

"That'...that's what I'm going to do." He panted with a goofy smile on his face.

His hair was all messy from moving his head around from laughing so hard.

"Sorry to ruin your fun." He panted but then ended up laughing again.

"Oh god! It hurts to laugh." He said with this bright smile on his face as he tried to force himself to stop. He sat up and made sure Tony couldn't grab at his feet.

"Careful, Steve. For a second there, I thought you were going to piss yourself." Tony teased.

He picked up the tablet again and started thumbing through some files. "Also, I would like to add that you didn't seem to mind the foot action."

Steve laughed some more which hurt so he kicked Tony a little harder then before. "

Stop making me laugh," he scolded playfully, he quickly pulled his foot away when Tony smirked at him.

"And you seriously think someone wants the person their with to giggle like an idiot when their sucking on their feet?" He asked with a smile and then he blushed.

"That is what a foot fetish is right?" He asked, not even sure if he was right or not.

Tony's heart thudded against his chest.  _'The person they're with?_ ' What was he implying?

"Getting a little carried away there, Stevie." Tony said with a laugh. "Just because I like you when you're not moping around, doesn't mean that I want to suck on your feet like a pervert. And yes, Steve. That is a foot fetish."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, old man." He teased playfully, Tony hated when he called him old man.

It was hilarious to Steve because Tony was technically a year or two older then him.

"I was just asking because I wasn't sure." He said, still with that slight blush.

"And I don't want anyone sucking on my toes." He said with a little laugh that still hurt.

"That's gross." He said, nose crinkling at the thought. Then he realized that Tony had called him Stevie.

"Don't call me, Stevie." He warned with a faint smile on his lips. Steve hated being called Stevie because it was a girls name.

"Hey! You're one to talk! You and my dad were like bffs!" Tony sneered.

He made a mental note to dye his hair tomorrow. Stupid grey hairs. Steve was lucky. He probably wouldn't have to deal with that. Tony looked over at Steve.

"I can call you whatever I wa-Are you blushing?" He asked with a laugh.

"Sure, Cap. I'm real convinced that you don't want me sucking on your toes."

"I'm not blushing!" Steve argued which only made him blush more. Damn it!

"And I sure as hell don't want your lips on my toes." He said seriously but that stupid blush was still there.

Why did even the subject of sex make him blush? It shouldn't! It's just sex...damn, it's more then that. That's why he blushes all the damn time.

"I don't have a foot fetish." Steve insisted and hid his feet with a pillow to make sure Tony didn't do something crazy.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Steve laughed and looked away from Tony's knowing smirk.

"I don't Tony, you can smirk all you want, I don't." He insisted.

"What about my tongue?" Tony said, sticking his tongue out towards Steve's toes.

"Ew! Tony! Put your tongue away." Steve laughed and pulled his feet away quickly.

"No offense to your skilled tongue though." He teased with a role of his eyes.

"And yes I know you have a skilled tongue...your dates are very...vocal." Steve coughed awkwardly at the last part, still blushing just a little.

"I'm glad that you have such high hopes for my tongue, Steve." Tony said with his signature smirk. "My dates are really stupid sometimes. I wouldn't believe everything that they tell you." He said. "Well, except the good parts, of course."

"You're unbelievable." Steve said, but he said it more fondly then he should. He smiled at Tony, watching him as he played with the tablet.

"I guess I have a lot to believe then." He said with a sigh, as if that bored him. It didn't. It excited him honestly but he wouldn't let Tony know that.

"Well, I guess I'm surprised that they haven't swarmed to you yet." Tony murmured. He started doodling with the tablet.

"Swarm me? No. I don't see why." Steve said.

He still didn't get why women would want him. Why anyone would want him really. Yes, he knew he was taller, and better looking then before, but in Steve's mind, he's still just a little guy from Brooklyn.

"Why would they want me when they could have you?" He asked and then he sighed. "And don't let that boost your ego any." He warned playfully.

"You have that whole nice guy thing going for you." Tony responded.

"The stereotypical woman looks for prince charming who will watch chick flicks with them. I could see you being that guy." Tony said honestly.

"And then there's guys. They usually want someone with a nice body that knows how to be the right balance of gentle and rough. Also, you. Well, if you were interested in men."

"Thanks, Tony." Steve looked at him with confusion.

Could Tony seriously not tell he was interested in men? How many straight men let other guys tickle there feet? None as far as Steve knows.

"But I am interested in men." He said simply with a shrug of his shoulders. "I thought you would be able to tell." He added, he was honestly a little shocked that Tony couldn't tell.

Tony looked up from the tablet. "Really?" he asked, surprised. "Wasn't it frowned upon 'back in your day'?" He asked. He decided to leave Loki out of the conversation. Things were finally back to normal. There was no way he was ready to ruin that.

"Of course it was." Steve said, not liking the memories he had from back then of what being gay or bisexual would mean if people found out.

"I don't even want to talk about how 'frowned upon,' it was." Steve said, there was this horrible time he remembers hearing about a man being beaten to death for being gay.

"Those who were gay, or bisexual kept it quite." Steve said. Then he sighed, looking at Tony sadly.

"I was one of those people." He said, still ashamed that he didn't stand up for his sexuality.

"Oh God...please don't tell me you were crushing on my dad." Tony groaned, letting the back of his head hit the couch cushion.

"JESUS NO!" Steve gasped at the thought, utterly grossed out. "That's just...ew!" Steve said hiding his face with a pillow he was so disgusted.

"Howard was one of my best friends, he was the guy that taught me about..." Steve was about to say 'sex.'

Because Howard had, Howard had taught him all about sex. What girls liked, what some things meant, he was was his tutor really. Steve was thankful he had him or he would be completely clueless about sex.

"Taught me about...nothing. Never mind." He said quickly, trying to act as if he never said anything.

"THANK YOU!" Tony said, relieved.

At the same time, though, he felt a little nervous. Did that mean that Steve would never fall for him? He was pretty much the new up-to-date version of his father, but much more awesome of course. Still, Steve probably only saw him as a friend. Wait...why did Tony care about being with Steve all of a sudden?

"Sorry, it's just...my dad was really obsessed with you. Hell, I think you were his favorite person." Tony confessed.

"Well, he was a great guy." Steve said with a smile.

He was never interested in Howard.

Tony was a different story though, had been since he met him. There was just something about him...something he was attracted to even when they first met. He couldn't stand Tony when they first met but even then he was attracted him.

"But I'm sure you were his favorite person." Steve smiled, Howard had talked about having kids a few times and he always seemed so excited.

"Maria was worried that Howard was so busy that they'd never have kids, looks like Howard finally found the time." He laughed, smiling at Tony. He was glad Tony was here. He was glad he existed.

"He might have found time, but he never found you." Tony said honestly. "And I think that's what he really wanted." He hated having an emotional side, but it was so easily revealed whenever his father came into the picture.

Steve frowned.

Howard was always an obsessive person, especially when it came to his friends. If they were ever in any danger, he'd do the stupidest things to save them. Steve wishes he would have gave up looking for him though. It looks like Tony didn't get to spend enough time with him. Steve put an arm on Tony's shoulder, rubbing it soothingly.

"I'm sorry, Tony. When I knew your dad he was always sort of... passionate when it came to his friends." He said sadly, still rubbing Tony's shoulder.

"If he neglected you because of me...I really am sorry." Steve said. He hated if Howard had done that to Tony.

Tony looked at Steve with wide eyes. Did Steve really just apologize to him? Those sweet word that he always expected to hear from him suddenly made him feel unworthy of them.

"What did you just say?"

Steve looked at him with confusion, removing his hand because he was worried he had just crossed the line.

Steve hated the idea of a adorable little kid Tony being left at home because his father preferred to go look for him in icy places.

"I said, if Howard ignored you to come looking for me, that's just incredibly wrong and I am  _so sorry_." Steve said, looking at Tony with sorrow filled eyes.

Tony blinked, his heart swelling with a possessing endearment. He realized that Steve wasn't the person he deserved an apology from; it was his dad.

Before he could re-consider it, he leaned into Steve and pecked him softly on the lips.

Steve was shocked, he never thought the conversion they just had would lead to this. He made a surprise sound in the back of his throat just because was so stunned but once the amazing tingling feeling that surged through his whole body when Tony kissed him set in after a second, he relaxed into the kiss. Kissing Tony back the best he could with his heart pounding in his chest. Then Tony pulled away and Steve's cheeks were bright red.

"Why'd you stop?" He asked innocently. That was all Steve had wanted for months and he was hurt that it had ended so quickly.

"Thank you..." Tony said. He was panting from the speed of his racing heart. "I just...needed to..." Tony took in a deep breath. "Just thanks."

Steve smiled, looking down shyly. "I didn't do anything, Tony." He said, moving closer to Tony. "But if you want to thank me, then kiss me again. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for that." He with a laugh because it feels like he's waited forever for Tony.

"You did more than you think, Princess." Tony said, grinning at the annoyed look Steve shot at him when he called him ' _princess_.'

He cupped Steve's chin. "Thank you." He pulled still into a slow and passionate kiss.

 

_The End._


End file.
